September 3, 2015

[TBT] How to Pick Up a Girl, Tip #2

It's Throwback Thursday today and that means another old post from Monkey Whimsy. Thank you for allowing me to indulge in my nostalgic whims.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011
How to Pick Up a Girl, Tip #2

Boys, you should wear your pants so low that your buttocks stick out over the waistband of your pants.

So that when you bend over, your moon crack is laid bare for all the world to see.

Because you know, girls love a great ass.

September 1, 2015

Chrysanthemum Tea with Goji Berries

Chrysanthemum tea is one of my favorite drinks from childhood.

My mom used to make a huge pot of it with a little rock sugar and I always thought it was such a treat.

She would say that drinking the tea was good for us and would make us beautiful when we grew up as a way to get my sister and me to drink more liquids.

But, my mom soon learned that statements like that did not get us to do anything.

(Also, it wasn't true. It's just something the adults in my family like to say to kids to get them to eat.

My mom also liked to say eating fish would make us smart, eating noodles would make us tall, and eating soy sauce would make us dark.

I bet lots of Chinese kids heard that last one from their mothers.

Am I right?!)

However, I never needed any convincing to drink chrysanthemum tea because I LOVE(D) the stuff.

The scent alone makes me swoon.

If I could bathe in it, I would.

And, I WOULD boil myself a bath's worth of tea if I didn't think it was a waste.

'Cause I'd rather drink it!

Chrysanthemum tea is really easy to make at home but I didn't realize it until recently, when my mom started to brew it with goji berries instead of rock sugar.

The goji berries give the tea a deeper hue while the chrysanthemum + rock sugar combination yields a pretty light yellow color.

Traditionally, chrysanthemums are used to reduce your fire energy.

And, goji berries, or wolfberries as they are sometimes called, are purportedly good for eye health.

Since my mama was trying to improve her eyesight, she decided to swap out rock sugar for goji berries.

The goji berries give the chrysanthemum tea a natural sweetness.

I also love chrysanthemum tea because it's beautiful to look at.

I mean, who can resist a drink that looks like this:

Isn't it lovely?

AND, it's good for you.

WIN WIN, right there.

Here's how you make it!

Chrysanthemum and Goji Berry Tea

  • 20-30 goji berriies
  • 8-10 chrysanthemum buds
  • 2 cups of water
  1. Lightly rinse the chrysanthemum and goji berries.
  2. Bring 2 cups of water to a boil in a small pot.
  3. Add in chrysanthemum and goji berries, let boil for 1 minute, then remove from heat.
  4. Let steep for a couple of hours until liquid is amber colored.
  5. Drink!
  1. You can eat the goji berries but not the chrysanthemum buds.
  2. The tea can be refrigerated for a couple of days but honestly, it's never lasted that long in my house because I drink it like water.
  3. Can be steeped for a second time but the tea will be vastly milder. You may need to boil for a minute longer before removing from heat. Toss after second steeping.

August 31, 2015

Exercise. Am I doing it wrong?

I've been going to the gym a lot lately because of this.

But also because of vanity.

The other day, after working out, I noticed something strange.

How other people look when they exercise:

Makeup in place.

Hair all coiffed.

Cute outfit on.

And then, there's me:

Cheeks flushed, hair is a mess, sweat running all over the place, and clothes that definitely do not pass for cute.

Sometimes, I wear my holey shirt to the gym.

Not holy. But, holey.

I know we're not supposed to compare ourselves to others but I couldn't help it.

I looked at the other women in the gym and I was in awe of how they do it.

But then, I noticed:

Perhaps I'm comparing myself to the wrong demographic.

In all other areas of my life I have to compete with men.

Why stop now?

Although, the sweat monster in me will win on all fronts, always.

It's a special gift I inherited from my dad.