June 21, 2016

How Many Double Chins Can I Make?

I like to play a game called, "How Many Double Chins Can I Make?"


And I've been playing it a lot lately.

Because when strangers on the street tell me to smile more, I give them The Double Chin.



When a colleague answers my question like this:

I give them The Double Chin.



And when someone beats me to the free platter of cookies at work and takes all the good ones, I double The Double Chin.

"Get out of my way."


Which usually results in this:


That's not a Double Chin. That's just me in a food coma.


How about you? When do you give people The Double Chin? How many Double Chins can you make? Go forth and be prosperous. And show me your Double Chins.

April 1, 2016

Anniversay Giveaway + Passwords Part Deux

I went to the Genius Bar recently.

Because my iMac wouldn't power on at all.

It's why I've been MIA on the blog lately.

One thing I didn't realize they do when they take your computer for servicing is that the Geniuses will want to know your password.

Remember that time when I said my passwords are a little immature?

I didn't think I'd actually have to own up to it in public.

Face to face with someone.

When the Genius asked me for my password, this was my reaction:


"My password?




"Ha, um, it's um . . . "



"It's poopsicle. Heh."


I then said, "How embarrassing," and the Genius said, "I've seen worse."

I swear my next password will not contain the word poop.

In other news, today's the anniversary of my blog! I can't believe I've been putting my stories on the web for two years now. Time really flies by. To celebrate, I'm giving away a little present, a $50 gift card from American Express. Enter in the Rafflecopter widget below. Good luck!



a Rafflecopter giveaway


Giveaway ends April 30, 2016 at 11:59pm EDT.

This is NOT an April Fools' joke!

February 11, 2016

Sometimes My Face + Hair Color Confuses People

This is me:

I usually draw myself like this:


But a more accurate drawing would be like this:


I get asked all the time if I dye my hair.

Nope.

This mousy brown hair color is all my own.

Although yesterday, my coworker called it chocolaty brown.

I like that.

I've also been asked a couple of times if I'm mixed.

Again, nope.

Fully Chinese.

The questions amuse me though.

And it reminds me of how monolithic some people are in their perceptions of what Chinese people look like.

So, let me show you my family.

This is my mom, her hair is light like mine:


My aunt, my mom's younger sister, has hair the lightest of us all.

People just skip the hair dyeing question and automatically go straight to asking her what shade she uses.


It's au naturel, people.

This is my cousin, my dad's sister's son:


He has ridiculously curly hair. So much so, that he keeps it shorn close to his head or he'd be growing a poof. And no, he's not mixed.

These are all my male cousins.


Besides the babies, they are ALL taller than me.

Okay, that's not saying much. I'm 5'4". I'm the shortest grandchild on both sides of the family. Woe is me.

But, more than half of the boys are near six feet or over. I think my tallest cousin is 6'3".

It certainly feels like it when I try to look up at him.

And here are all the female cousins in the family, including me.


Oops, almost forgot the littlest one!


We all look very different from one another.

Though you can't tell from my drawings because I suck at drawing.

My sister and cousin have what the Chinese call perfect oval faces. It's the epitome of East Asian beauty. And big eyes. All four of them possess that feature.

I have to say, 'cause I'm not biased or anything, I have a stunningly beautiful family.

Just a little snapshot of what my Chinese family looks like.

If they were bad cartoon renditions of themselves.

Ha.