December 18, 2015

My Brain Needs Some Help

My cousin and his girlfriend are throwing a Christmas Orphan party this year.

To make sure that I had the date right in my calendar, I texted my cousin:

That would make a lot of sense.

You know, having a Christmas party on Christmas Day.

That's the whole point of a Christmas Orphan party.

Someone help my brain.

December 8, 2015

Back Pain + Acupuncture + A Very Chinese Question

I hurt my back last week.

It rendered me useless.

This is my acupuncturist:
He really does look like this. When I showed this 
drawing to my mom, she immediately knew who it was.

Dr. Chen's very good at what he does.

(I went through a lot of acupuncturists before finding him.

Okay, my mom did.)

Unable to deal with the pain on my own, I spent Saturday in his office.

Some of his diagnostic questions were:

"Where does it hurt?"

"How did you hurt yourself this time?"

"What are you limited in doing?"

"Are you married yet?"

My reaction:
Is there a correlation between 
being married and back pain?

In my head anyway.

I didn't want to rile the person who'll be sticking needles into my lower back for the next few weeks.

December 2, 2015

Guess which feature of mine my parents think is most beautiful?

Back when I was in 7th or 8th grade, my parents and I were sitting in the living room of our house, each doing our own thing, my sister off somewhere upstairs doing whatever it was she was doing, when all of a sudden, my mom starts talking quietly to my dad:

The most beautiful aspect of our daughter -- 

My ears immediately perked up at the mention of me and I started listening intently to my parents' conversation.

Because what teenager doesn't want to hear complimentary things about herself?

I was supposed to be diligently reading the newspaper.

Clearly, this was more important.

-- are her ears.

She does have beautiful ears.

Thanks, Parents, that's just what a teenaged daughter wants to hear, that her most beautiful feature are her ears.

This makes me wonder what your flirting game was like when you were younger, Parents.